Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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