I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
