I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize