What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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