Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize