If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
