I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize