i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
