we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
