no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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