I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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