She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
