my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you had me at cake vodka
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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