my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
