I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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