Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
