Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
