I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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