letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
