the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
