Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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