i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize