you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
