are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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