i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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