Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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