ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize