But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
