i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Naked Twister starts at high noon
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
