Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
