The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
