dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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