That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
