you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
