Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
