so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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