Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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