my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
