You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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