Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
