How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
