it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Im part way to drunk.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
