i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
