I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
