so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
