My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
