I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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