so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
