shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
