Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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