Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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