she looked like the before picture.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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