Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
