Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
