If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
