She said her name was "party"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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