So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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