Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
