my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
